


We're not a couple!!||Wolfstar OS

by Taera (bts_twins)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cute, Fluff, Gay, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Romance, Self-Doubt, Werewolf Remus Lupin, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:01:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bts_twins/pseuds/Taera
Summary: SiriusxRemus🏳️🌈Marauders 6th year at Hogwarts,the story is happening during an afternoon/night at the beginning of the year, a couple of days before full moon.Have fun reading it!!!Wordcount:4684 words
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 23





	We're not a couple!!||Wolfstar OS

\-----------------------------------------------------

"Oh my gosh, siriusly?"  
"What?"  
"Please just go, take a ROOM! You can't just fuck everybody in this shared one, we others do still EXIST!"  
"What? Everybody? You told me I am the FIRST!"  
"Calm down, Charlotte. We will just go somewhere else."  
"Pff I don't know how I honestly could believe this shit the whole time!"  
The girl on Sirius' lap stands up and I hide my grin as he grinds his teeth grumpily. The door slams close.

"Remus. Just. Leave." He growls.  
"Why would I. If you haven't noticed, it is MY room too! You can't just send me outside like one of your bitches!"  
"Just because I have a better sex life than you doesn't mean that they're bitches or that I am a fuckboy. At least my sex live is as present as your virginity."  
"Fuck you! I do have a sex life, I just don't show it off like you do!"  
"Are you calling me a Fuckboy?"

"No, you did that yourself, I am just telling you how annoying it is to run into naked girls upon stepping into our room!"  
"Well that is YOUR problem and why don't you just knock at the door, then I could tell you if there is a naked girl in our room! And I gotta say it doesn't happen often!!"  
"Often enough!"  
"You know, why do you even have such a problem with it? Jealous of me?"  
"Why would I be jealous of you?"  
"Because I have all the girls!"

"I.. don't care about the girls.."

"What did you just say?"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING GIRLS!"

"OMG Are you now FINALLY admitting that you're gay?"

"I am not-"

"I knew it, for all this time!! YOU ARE GAY!!"

"I AM NOT GAY, AND IT IS YOUR TIME TO LEAVE THE BLOODY ROOM RIGHT NOW!"  
I yell at Sirius, who apparently realizes that he really should go, because he rushes out of the room, not without slamming the door shut very loudly.

I release the breath I didn't realize I was holding and lay down on my bed, a book in my hands and my face turned towards the wall.  
Nobody knows it but it is true. I am gay.  
Nobody knows, because nobody would like me anymore if I'd tell them.  
My best friends are already covering for my furry problem, and I still am not believing that they really do still like me. I am just a burden for them and at some point they're just gonna leave me alone and I won't have anybody who would help me, so why would I even tell them.

It's just another secret I have, another secret they would have to hide...  
I can just cover it under all the others. It is hard, especially with James talking about Lily all the time, how she looks, how she smiles and how she talks. He wouldn't like me talking over a guy like this.

And Sirius. He wouldn't understand either. Fucking all those girls. The thought of him fucking a guy wouldn't even make any sense to him, yes, he would probably be disgusted. He is the straightest guy in gryffindor. He doesn't care about boys, no, only a girl can turn him on, only a girl could make him happy, could have a family with him.

I lied to him earlier. I am the only one who has a problem with him and the girls. I am the only one, because I hate seeing him with them. I want somebody like him. Exactly like him. Somebody caring, loving, hot with a hot ass who fucks the living hell out of me. I want those curls, this body and that grin. Those lips and his eyes. I want him...

I slam the book against my head.  
Remus! Stop thinking about him. He would never, ever like you. It is HOPELESS!  
It is hopeless to think about anything right now. I am not going to tell them, even if it is destroying me, seeing my best friends with their wifes and happy lives and me being the single, gay werewolf, howling lonely through the nights, forgotten by his friends.  
They'll just care about their job and family, they won't have any time for me and my problems.  
They just won't care what happens to me.  
I probably could just fall from the astronomy tower right now, and they would maybe be sad for a couple days, and then they will forget about me.

They really will.

They will just go on with their lives without even noticing that something is different. That I am missing.

They just wouldn't care.

And now I can't even concentrate on my book because I am just thinking about my hopeless life.  
What am I even able to do?  
I am just an average student, nothing more. I don't have anything else about myself. Well, I am a werewolf but that doesn't make things any better. It just tells me that I am a nasty, abnormal, disgusting, repelling, hunting, monstrous, dangerous, ugly thing that just hurts people because it is hungry and isn't able to really have friends because they are in danger by just being around me.

And I am gay.

Great.

That helps the situation so much.

Ugh.

I even hear the sarcasm in my thoughts laughing about my pathetic life.

But, what will they do when they find out?

Will they be understanding and supportive or will they be full of hatred, maybe yell at me or never let me sleep in our room again.

What am I going to do...

And also, to add onto all of this shit, I had a huge fight with my best friend.

My best friend.

He probably hates me now anyways. It wouldn't even matter if I would tell him my secrets because he hates me.  
I wipe a tear off my cheek and stand up. I undress and just throw my stuff in a corner of the room. Nobody cares.  
To lay down into my bed again, now only in boxers I cover my chest and legs with the blanket, to not see the scars when I look down my body.  
I hate my scars. Those are the marks of my lycanthrophobia and my vulnerability and it hurts to see them.  
They show that I am a monster. A huge, inhuman, misshapen, grotesque creature with a nature to kill people.

I close my eyes again and lay my book down. It's hopeless.

I rephrase my conversation with Sirius over and over again in my head and slowly my eyes start tearing up. I've had fights with him before. With all of them, but it hurts every single time.  
What am I doing wrong for that we fight all the time. I love them. I love them so much, and still.  
We fight. Nearly every day. We normally don't yell like that, but still. Is it my fault? What am I doing wrong then?

WHAT?

Why can't I just be a normal boy.

Why do I have the fate of being the freak, the scary kid, the weird one, the nerd...

I don't even know how I deserve the amazing friends I have...

NO I don't even deserve them. They're way too good with me, with me being this... monster.  
I don't want to have problems with my emotions and with my control of anger and I don't want to have fur and cracking bones every single month.  
I don't want to be able to rip people apart.  
I don't want to be a murderer!

Why can't I be human?

I wipe away my tears, still with my eyes closed, hoping to finally go to sleep. It is not bed time at all, but I feel like I could use a nap and at some point I finally drift into a slight slumber.

I wake up, and the first thing I notice, besides the horrible taste in my mouth, is a startlingly soft sensation on my arm and back. It takes me a few seconds to become more conscious, fighting out of the dizziness, to realise that it is slightly rough but fluffy fur and a couple more seconds later I recognize the familiar scent and this is the moment when I turn around and whisper-scream.

"Siriusly?!"  
I open my eyes

The dog yawns and I turn back to the position we were before. I close my eyes again and concentrate on the tickling fur on my back. As it suddenly vanishes and skin presses against skin, his arm wrapped around my torso.

"I am sorry Moony... I shouldn't have said the things I said." I feel his warm lips on my cold shoulder and a shiver runs down my spine, spreading goosebumps all over my body.  
I turn my head again, looking at him.  
"You don't have to be. It was my fault."  
He lifts his head off my shoulder and I feel his warm breath on my skin. I look into his eyes. Grey meets brown and the sky clears up, like after a snowstorm, leaving bluish ice behind reflecting the grey sky or like diamonds glimmering through cold grey stone.  
His eyes have this sparkle in them and I want to believe the illusion of him sparkling only for me.  
He lowers his voice, "No, I shouldn't have brought girls up here in the first place, I wouldn't like it either if you would be having girls up here all the time."  
He chuckles a bit and I can see how his full and rosy lips curl up into the most beautiful smile I have ever seen, his lips parted slightly, revealing his straight white teeth.  
It seems like his face comes closer and I lick my lower lip in anticipation

"What the... I am sorry, I am leaving again! Just wanting to tell you, dinner is ready!"

Sirius and I look up to the direction the voice is coming from.  
James is standing right by the opened door and neither Sirius nor I have noticed him coming in.  
I look at the almost naked boy laying right by me then back to James and if the situation wouldn't be that embarrassing, his expression would be one of the best he's ever made.  
He is really confused, seeing the two of us together like this and probably really thinking we were going to have something going on in here and I catch myself wishing that exactly that would've happened.  
Right now James turns around again, without one of us having the chance to say anything, I really should explain everything to him later.  
The door crashes onto the frame and Sirius and I shyly start laughing, then Sirius wraps his arms around me tightly and presses my body close to his. I close my eyes, my arms also around his torso, breathing in his wonderful scent.

A strong men's cologne, also a bit peppermint from his shampoo and shea butter. He must've showered this morning or even while I slept.  
But then his arms loosen around me, he presses a kiss into my hair and stands up.  
I look at him, adoring his adonis-like body while he dresses.

"Hey Remi, are you staring?" He gives me this accusing look and I slightly blush.

"No! What would I even stare at? I have seen better looking people." That is a lie, but he really doesn't have to know.

He chuckles. "If you say so. Anyways, you should stand up now too. We should get seen at dinner otherwise our lovely Jamsie will tell everybody some story about how he found us fucking in the dorm."  
I smile and hardly can keep myself from saying: Would it be that bad?  
Then I stand up, put on my robes again and walk into the bathroom to brush my slightly destroyed hair.

When I walk outside again, Sirius is standing in the doorframe, holding open the door for me.  
"Oh, what a gentleman." I chuckle.  
"I always am." He raises his chin and gives me this aristocratic look which makes me laugh even more.  
Then I pass by him walking down the stairs and, clumsy as alway, slipping because of my laughter, but happily, Sirius catches me before I can crash onto the stairs.

"I think I might have to carry you, my deerest wolf." He again winks at me, and I melt like wax in the sun by just looking at him.

Remus. You're never gonna have him, so just stop!

I nod.

"Probably." I wink and suddenly he sweeps me up in his arms and carries me down the stairs, out of the common room to the great hall. My only protest consisting of a slight gasp until I rest my head againyt his shoulder.  
Everybody we're passing looks at us like we're the new exhibit in a museum but neither Sirius nor I care at all. We just have so much fun like we haven't had in a couple years.  
Yes, of course we've had evenings sitting in the dorm with James and Peter and we have laughed much but this feeling and tension between us right in this moment is different and I would die to just feel it everyday.

Still laughing, Sirius and I walk into the great hall, well Sirius walks, I am still laying in his arms like a bride in the arms of her new husband walking out of church newly wed.

Everybody and I really mean EVERYBODY stares at us when we sit down at the gryffindor table between James and Lily, who saved us a seat.

"Oh, you guys came! I thought you were too busy in Remus' bed."  
James is the first to say anything while Lily just raises her eyebrow. James looks down at us.  
"Oh, and you even dressed. I am proud of you two."

"You want to tell me something?" Lily whispers in my ear and I shake my head.  
"It's nothing, we just had a fight and now we made up for it. He was just in my bed to comfort me, okay?" I whisper back, hoping for neither Sirius nor James to hear it.  
Lily chuckles. "Yeah made up, made out, almost the same, I know Remi."  
I shake my head and finally start eating, my right pinky crossed with Sirius' left, which leaves me to eat with my left hand.

Lily, eyeing my hand with the most accusing look I have ever seen, nods at me and whispers again. "Yes. A little... comforting. You guys totally had sex."  
I blush and just continue eating, trying not to leave any signs to anybody about the butterflies in my stomach.

James and I are the first ones to finish eating and when he stands up, wanting to go upstairs I take the opportunity and decide to follow him.  
"Wait, I am coming with you James!"  
Sirius nods and I stand up, then hug him from behind and kiss his shoulder.  
"See you later."I whisper into his ear.  
I wave a silent bye at Lily and then walk outside.  
"So, you and Sirius, please don't start making out in every corner of-"  
"James."  
"-the castle please, because that would be really awkward,-"  
"James. Sirius and I-"  
"-especially amongst me and Peter, and also if you hurt him, of course, then I, being his brother-"  
"James, we're not a couple!"  
"-Probably have to kick- You're WHAT?!"  
"We're not a couple."  
"What, why, you looked like one, you can't tell me you two weren't going to kiss when I came in."  
"Actually I can. Sirius is straight, everybody knows that."  
"True, it was confusing for me too but I just assumed that he was bi, it would make sense."  
"Yeah, it actually- that's not the point! We had a fight and just made up. Nothing more, at least for him..."

"So I was right!" I look at him and raise my eyebrows.  
"Right with what?"  
"You ARE gay for him, aren't you?"  
"Yeah, I was getting to that point right now, you're right... And now you can hate me forever and ban me from the dorm, I'll go and ask Dumbledore if I could sleep somewhere-"  
"Remus. REMUS! Didn't you hear what I said earlier, I wouldn't even have a problem with you and Sirius. I thought that you were gay. I don't care. You're my best friend and nothing can change that. "  
I look at him, now totally confused.  
"What?" He hugs me.  
"You heard what I said, Remus. Now let's go upstairs."  
I grin, nod and it feels like a stone is lifted off my chest.  
I sigh happily, then follow him upstairs to the Gryffindor common room.  
Upstairs, in our dorm, I take out my homework for the next week, looking at what I still have to do and what I already have when Sirius and Peter come in.

"Hey, Remus, we had to write a potions essay, right?"  
I nod at Sirius, who had asked me the question. Then I take out my essay and give it to him.  
"Here, that's mine. Don't copy it though, you know Slughorn won't be happy!"  
"Of course!" He smiles at me and I take out my almost finished text for transfigurations and read through it.  
I subconsciously stick my tongue between my lips, finishing up the two rolls of parchment, to have a thing less to do this week.  
Then I stand up, taking fresh boxers and a plain white shirt into the bathroom.

After I closed the door I undress, putting my dirty clothes into a laundry basket for the house elves to pick up and clean.

I step into the shower, then turn on the water, which fastly turns warm and I step under the stream.  
The water running down my back makes me sigh deeply and I can feel how my tense muscles relax and I shiver due to the contact of the hot droplets of water with my always cold skin.  
I just stand there and let the water surround me, drowning out the pain I am in and making me forget my own thoughts.  
This is the only place I feel at peace, alone and warm... comforted.  
But as I keep thinking I remember that I felt the same when Sirius had his arms around me, his warm skin on mine, his flat stomach and defined chest pressed to my scarry back as if it was nothing.

I wish the comfort he is able to give me was more than just a deep friendship.

I shake my head and start cleaning my skin, trying my hardest to forget the... moment the two of us had earlier.

What was that?

And why can't I ban it out of my head as I usually do?

I wash my hair as tears roll down my cheeks and get washed away by the water.  
I only wish it was as easy to get rid of the loneliness, desire and pain in my chest...  
After what feels like an hour, I step out of the shower, the warm and steamy air surrounding me.

I wrap a towel around my body and dry myself, then put on the boxers and my shirt to hide my scars. I shake my head, making a couple waterdrops fly away, then I wrap my hair into the towel, just to dry them off a little bit.

I look at myself in the mirror. My brown eyes are tired and the black circles under them even strengthen that look.

I close my eyes again, breathe in and turn around, taking the towel off my head and hanging it on the hanger. I unlock the door and walk outside right into the conversation of my fellow Marauders.

"Oh and we can buy the nose biting cups to get into Filch's office."  
"Yes we really need a couple of those, just imagine Snape running around with one of them on his nose."  
Everybody laughs about James' comment while I sit down on my own bed.  
"I also probably need a new robe, somebody stepped on one of mine and I want to have a back up because I only have one left."  
Peter adds on and I realise they're talking about the next Hogsmeade weekend.  
"I would need new quills. My old one looks really bad and I am not sure how long it is still going to work."  
James nods and stands up, walking to the dresser and pulling out one of the drawers.  
"And we need to have more sweets here! This drawer is EMPTY!"  
"I am sorry, I ate the last chocolate..."  
I look down and James lays onto his bed.  
"Remus, that is no problem. Full moon is only a couple days away, you need that."  
"Oh yes, talking about the full moon." Now Sirius stands up from the floor, walks to his bed and pulls out his suitcase.

"I bought those at the last Hogsmeade weekend. I think those are enough."  
With a wide boxy smile on his lips he stands up, six chocolate bars in his hand.  
"No way!"  
My eyes become big, when he walks over to me and puts them on my nightstand.

"You didn't!" I smile widely as my heartbeat is going crazy and he chuckles.  
"Yes, I did. And do you know why I bought them?" I shake my head.  
"Just to see that face." He smiles at me and I once again melt through his words.  
"You didn't. You're just saying it like that."  
"Think what you want Rem."  
He gives me a wink and walks away, laying down on his own bed.  
I can hear the boys continuing to talk and I smile as I hear them plotting another prank against Slytherin and especially that nerdy kid Severus.  
They are talking about putting some kind of coloring spell on that would make their hair pink for a day and they laugh so hard they can't breathe anymore at one point.  
I smile as I just sit on my bed, wrapped in my blanket so I can trap the heat for as long as possible as I watch my friends smiling.  
It makes me all warm and fuzzy with love as I see them and listen to them making up crazier and more insane suggestions on how to do the prank as it gets later.

Hours later, the light turns off and I hear James walking back to his bed. I am still smiling, now closing my eyes.

"Night guys."  
"Good night boys, good night Sirius." I chuckle.  
"Night you idiots."  
"Night to you too you wonderfully smart moony. Good night deerest Wormtail and good night to my one, true love!" I practically see Sirius die dramatically on his bed and my smile grows even wider.  
"I love you guys." My words are only a whisper, and probably not one of them has heard it but they mean so much to me. I love them. So much.

I wake up, having the feeling that somebody is hugging me and stroking my back. I sleepily open my eyes and look into Sirius'.

"Oh, you woke up."

He smiles at me and still tired and confused I just stare back at him.  
"You had a bad nightmare, and I didn't want you to have bad dreams."  
I nod mechanically and yawn. Sirius chuckles.  
"You should continue sleeping Rem. I am here now."  
I smile at him now, slowly waking up.  
"I am really sorry, I woke you up in the first place. You don't have to stay there, you need your sleep too!"  
"Remus, don't try me." Sirius almost growls at me and I realize that I don't have any choice.  
"Okay, if you want to."  
I put my arms around him and press myself closer to his chest, tugging my face into his neck, breathing in his scent, then I close my eyes again.

This hug means so much to me. He is able to make me feel that I am not alone and that he is there. It is safe and secure in his arms and I am sure that I am not going to have any bad dreams cuddling with Sirius Black. I smile.  
He is such a wonderful person. He is my best friend and I trust him with almost everything.

Why don't you trust him with your sexuality then?

Well I should, but am I ready for it?

You are just such a bad friend if you don't tell him!

But is it the right moment? Is it even the right thing to do?

"I need to tell you something." My quivering voice cracks as I quietly whisper and for a moment I ask myself if he even heard it.  
"If you're already starting with that... me too."

I swallow hard. What does he want to tell me?  
Sirius starts stroking my hair.  
"You... you were right earlier"  
I now hide my face even deeper under the blanket, now on his naked chest.  
"Right about what?"  
I swallow again.  
"My... My sexuality"

He nods, then presses his arms around my torso, burying me in a hug.  
"I am proud of you for telling me that Remi."  
And I am sure I hear the smile out of his voice which makes my heart flutter.  
He doesn't take it badly at all! He doesn't have a problem with it!  
I smile against his chest and he loosens his grip, now trailing the multiple scars on my back.

"As I told you, I do have a secret too. I..I..."  
I look up to him. Why is it so hard to tell me, is it something about me?

"I...ahem...I have a crush."  
I look down again, for him not to see my slightly disappointed face.  
A crush. He has a CRUSH. He is in love. Oh that happy girl.

Sirius continues talking: "Like a REAL crush... Not only physically, like in every aspect."

"Oh. Okay, that... That is great, I guess!" I try to sound enthusiastic but somehow it doesn't work as well as I wanted it to.

Sirius just doesn't bother and just continues talking.

"and this person... doesn't know anything about it."

"Well, then why don't you tell her?"  
"Because... Because it's not a 'her'."

I cough out of surprise.  
"What?!"  
"I have a crush on a guy... I am bisexual."  
I nod and mumble against his chest.  
"Well, that is not any problem."  
Liar. I thought it would be hard seeing him fucking and snogging with girls, but imagining him with boys? I just want to cry right now. But I can't.

"So... what is he like?"  
"He is amazing, He is brilliant, one of the smartest in our grade. He is a little smaller than me, and so cute. He is beautiful in every way. How he sticks out his tongue when he is concentrating and how he hides when he is embarrassed. He really likes pranks, but he is still very responsible. HE IS PERFECT."

I practically can see his wide grin sitting on his face while talking about him.

"He sounds great. Do you know if he likes you?"  
"Well I know he is gay but I am not sure if he has any feelings for me. And even if he does. How should I tell him that I have a huge crush on him? I am scared."

"Sirius, you are just amazing. You are the best guy in this whole entire world. You're smart, handsome, kind, funny, good looking, and fucking AMAZING!"

"But... But...-"

"No but's anymore! Just tell him: I have to tell you something. I... really like you. And then you just kiss him."  
Why do I even tell him that? Why? Just to hurt myself?

"It's that easy?"

I look up, now looking into his handsome face looking back and forth between his rosy, full lips and gorgeous grey eyes.

I nod.

"That easy."

"Remus?"

"Ye...Yes?"

He lifts up my chin so that I have to look directly into his wonderful, mesmerizing eyes that change as he looks at me, as if the sun is clearing up the sky, and the places where his fingers touch my skin tickle.

"I really like you."

Then he pulls my face closer and presses his lips onto mine.

..."Yes, yes Sirius, exactly like that."


End file.
